75

The past few poems we've been working with are all about the same thing: Lesbia's infidelity and the affect it has on Catullus. He still cannot respect her nor can he stop his love for her. He's destroying himself, torturing himself, he can't get out of this. It seems to me he's stuck and confused. He knows what Lesbia did is wrong, obviously, since he's not able to respect her any longer but he can't find the strength to end it with her. I think the theme here is his passion, but now in a different sense than it was in the poems where he was saying give me a thousand kisses, nobody can be loved more than he loves Lesbia, and so on. Now, this new and to me more intense passion deals with him not being able "desistere amare". His love is no longer the mushy, touchy feely, super romantic stuff. It's serious now, she's hurt him and it's like even though the respect and the liking isn't there, it's stronger since he knows it can't be stopped, not even by himself.
I love how he uses "si optima fias" and "omnia si facias" to support what he's saying. They are opposites, being the best and doing all the worst, but they both make sense together for what he's trying to get out. Also they both have 'si' and words dealing with making/becoming. It plays with the idea of balance, Catullus seems to balance his poems out all the time. It's interesting how he puts the infinitives "bene velle" and "desistere amare" almost right on top of eachother, again balancing themselves. The verbs/nouns in a lot of his poems usually are balanced in this way or another, their position opposite eachother like in 51 or with two opposite words as in 72.

85

He starts with a paradox: 'Odi et amo'. The only ways these verbs are similar are in person and that they are feelings. If you're in love, you're not hating but if you are hating, you are not in love. How is it possible to do both? Well, the only way to love and hate is if something happened like in poem 72. This is clearly a reflection of the situation that occured in poem 72. He 'odi et amo' because Lesbia no longer 'solum..nosse Catullum'. Not only that but he is tortured by the feelings he's forced to feel. This poem really reminds me of a show I have connected to before, The OC. Seth smoked when Summer, his girlfriend, repeatedly told him not to do so. Obviously smoking isn't at the same level as cheating but cheating is implied that you won't do it and Summer explicitly told him not to do that. In the show, Summer wanted to take him back but she was too hurt that he would do something she clearly didn't approve of. What I wanted to specifically connect to was that Summer appeared to be tortured by it because she loved Seth, in the same way Catullus loved Lesbia, but couldn't help feeling hurt. In both situations, the lover was hurt and even though what the other did was horrible they couldn't help but be with them. In the real world, the same thing happens. Lovers are constantly powerless, when actually in love, to leave their partner even if they've done a horrible thing like cheating.

72

Catullus loves literary games. He always does little things that at first glance you may not notice. In 51 he puts 'ille' and 'te' opposite from eachother and in the poem he specifically says that that guy was sitting opposite her(Lesbia). In this poem he plays with the words of to know. He uses 'nosse', the word that has intimate connotation but uses 'cognovi', the word with a meaning of him finding out or learning about her, obviously that shows he has figured something out. Using the different wordes of to know make me notice that Lesbia now knows(intimately) somebody else: it sheds light on the situation. It is now evident this poem is about cheating on your significant other. What I really found to be fascinating, however, was his conclusion of the matter. He does not seem angry that this has happened, I got more a feel of hurt. He is forced to feel more love for her(unwillingly because she definitely hurt him) since now he knows their bond is so strong she can't make him stop loving her. He was made jealous so it makes sense that since he is powerless to end the love, he can no longer hold her at the high respect she was held at before. This is definitely true because I know that if I was in this situation and I truly loved the person I most likely wouldn't just stop loving them but I wouldn't be able to respect them as much. What I just said also influences that this is truly classsic since the things he's referring to can connect to me.

86

This poem is another one which point is to show how Lesbia is overwhelmingly beautiful and beyond compare. It reminds me a lot of poem 43, where he bad-mouthed a girl when she was compared to Lesbia. In this poem, he compares Lesbia to Quintia to prove her beauty, sortof the opposite of what happened in poem 43 but the general concept of both is the use of comparison to exemplify Lesbia's radiance. Also like in poem 43 he denounces Quintia at first to later make Lesbia seem much more beautiful. The biggest difference I think there is, however, is that he seemed to have hated the girl in poem 43 but here he respects her but doesn't think she is beautiful since Lesbia is the most beautiful. Also, in poem 43 he says her 'walk' is sloppy but Quintia's is 'upright'. These are just the comparisons of the two poems, though.
It is obvious that Catullus thinks Lesbia is very graceful and fine, but it's pretty arrogant of him to publicy impugn these girls/people to proclain her beauty. Catullus seems to enjoy publicly humiliating people he for whatever reason doesn't like. Like obviously in poem 43 like I already compared, when he asked the rhetorical question "ten provincia narrat esse bellam", and in poem 69 with "quare aut crudelem nasorum interfice pestem aut admirari desine cur fugiunt." In this poem he still criticizes but it seems to like her a bit more.

22 compared to 43

Catullus is a critic. Not a terribly mean or nice one but a critic. He criticizes his own life too! These three poems are all criticism. 22 specifically criticizes a 'poet' named Suffenus who Catullus thought neccessary to make publicy known was horrible. Like in poem 43, Suffenus did not think he was a bad poet, he actually thought he was a sophisticated poet. In poem 43 the girl was thought to be beautiful and even compared to Lesbia when, according to Catullus, she was just the opposite. Perhaps Catullus just likes to shed light on some certain things that that people truly are incapable of seeing for themselves.
No matter what the case, after reading these three poems, poem number 43, and almost all of the other poems we have been reading in class, I think Catullus can be a pretty comical poet. I can't imagine anybody hearing this, whatever the time period, and not laughing. He says Rufus has a goat under his armpit! The critical poems seem to me to be on the funny side. So, maybe he likes making people laugh at the plain truth?
In conclusion, although I am not entirely sure and can't even be since Catullus is no longer among the living, I think Catullus enjoys criticizing people for his pleasure and for other people's laughter.

92

When first read what Catullus says is a contradiction: with the first lines the reader automatically gets confused because of the paradox introduced. He says Lesbia always talks bad about him but he knows she loves him. When further read things are clarified a little bit more, it's the same for him. There is still room for further explanation.
As said in class there are numerous reasons this could be happening. They could have to speak badly about eachother in public because it is a secret affair, or maybe it's a love-hate type of relationship. Both are reasonable but my theory of it is different. At this point in the storyline any of those things are good suggestions..although we aren't sure of the situation yet I feel I am able to strongly estimate what is going on. This one we discussed most in class, that they simply are in love and just pick at eachother. Even friends do it to other friends. Once you've been in a person's life for so long you pick at them. That's probably exactly what's going on.
This really reminded me of my favorite show, The OC. There's a married couple, Sandy and Kirsten, who do pick at eachother. Countless instances in the show support that they are madly in love with eachother, but that doesn't change the fact that they don't get annoyed with little things. Once, Sandy was staying home in his robe and black socks and Kirsten just started ambushing him with snarky comments that led him to finally go to work. I just got an image of them in my mind when Catullus started saying Lesbia talks badly about him.
So it is completely reasonable that they are just picking at eachother, but sadly, there's only room for theories.

87

To me, this poem seems just so serious. It's almost even strict. The feelings he is writing about are definite and secure. He gets right to the point, the love for Lesbia is beyond compare. It's even short, two simple couplets that describe what he's trying to get out so perfectly and precisely. He wants it to be short because he wants it to be simple. He doesn't use any fancy elaboration to describe it and he doesn't even compare it to anything like all the other poems.
When read I believe this poem should be spoken kindof softly but with a sense of determination in the voice. I say determined just because since the poem is so short I think Catullus wants it to be heard that way.
A reoccuring theme I notice here is trust and the sacredness of having trust in another person. The reason for him loving her more than anybody has been loved is because of the trust they have. Faithfullness and being loyal in a relationship seem to be important to Catullus, considering his poems almost always touch on that thought. Being faithful is definitely important and it has been forever. There are countless songs, shows, movies, etc on how faith is important. Catullus is one of the many who share this common value in trust.

5

After reading this poem and after our discussion in class, I think Catullus (the poet and character) has fears about jealousy and people gossipping. Those fears are shown not only in this poem but the other poems we've read, too. This poem is the most blatant in revealing his underlying anxieties about gossip so it makes sense that I'm realizing this now. He flat out says he doesn't want people to gossip about them. He makes sure to note that there will be thousands of kisses but also that he doesn't want anybody to know how many kisses so that nobody will be able 'invidEre'.
In poem 51 he gets very jealous of 'that guy'. As well as in poem 2, it almost seems as if he is jealous of Lesbia's sparrow!
My point is jealousy is almost always present and referenced in his poems so obviously it is something that bothers him and is constantly on his mind. Maybe he cares too much about what poeple think? Or people in his time care a lot about what others are doing?